Jess Carpenter

Next is the answer to Rejection

Rejection is not all bad. I found in the last few years working with people that rejection is what holds many people back from achieving what they set out to. So, what a couple people said no that really should not stop you. The key to getting rejected is to learn why then move on to the next person. My favorite thing to say to myself when I hear NO is NEXT. I move on and find better opportunities for me. The opportunity that you thought was so perfect for you before you were rejected was all in your head. You never know what a situation is until you are in it. So, when you are told no; remind yourself that it probably was not the best fit for you and that you need to find the right fit. When I am talking about rejection, I am talking about Jobs, Schools, People, any situation where someone else has the power to say no. Remember you always have the power to move on and say NEXT!

I want to say that I understand how much rejection stings and hurts and deflates your ego. I also want to point out that like everything, the more you do it or hear it or feel it, the easier it is, the less it hurts, the less the sting of defeat and the more its motivation to move forward.

Here is an embarrassing but true story about me. I grew up with a learning disability called Dyslexia. I was placed in special classes that at the time did not know what to do with me, so I basically had no real education. I did learn how to maneuver in the world and did well for myself but always had spelling issues come up. No matter how hard I tried there would always be something wrong, and with the English language with so many words that sound the same but spelled differently, it can cause “Issues” for a dyslexic, with that said. I am always taking classes to learn more about the things that interest me. I decided to go to Drexel university and wrote my Entrance essay and sent transcripts and all. I was REJECTED! I did not give up I asked why and what I can do, and they said that to begin with I spelled College with an “a” …“Collage”! Spell check did not pick this up, and I looked foolish, But then I asked if I can go Nonmatriculated (Spelled correctly) and they said yes and I have a 4.0 at this moment. I say at this moment because I am in the middle of a spelling intensive writing class and it’s giving me a run for my money…
Moral of the story you hear no, ask why then change course to either fix it or move on to the next opportunity that will take you forward in the direction of your goals.

 

There was a great Ted Talk I want to point out for a great inspiration. Jia Jiang turned something we are all afraid of “Rejection” into what energizes him.

Jia decided to do 100 rejections and videotape his rejections to learn from them:

  • Ask a stranger to borrow $100. Response No! while watching the video he saw how scared he was and remembered the 6-year-old him.
  • Buerger Refill at a fast food restaurant. Response No! but then learned to add to the requests to let the other person know his interests.
  • Olympic Doughnuts (donuts made in the formation of the Olympic rings) Response Surprisingly yes, the person was interested and made it, the video went Viral. This put him on the map, and he was getting support from all over the country for this idea.
  • Can I plant this flower in your back yard? Response No! but then Jia asked why not, and the person said they have a dog that would dig it up, and it would be a waste of your flowers, but Janet across the street loves flowers you should ask her. So now by asking shy he is getting a referral and the reasoning for the rejection and he was not the one who was rejected it was the waste of a flower.
  • Starbucks greeter: Response No! But then he said why because it’s a “weird” request, and the manager said yes, but then realized that because he was realistic about the request and knew it was odd that he could do it for an hour and just to not be too weird. He learned that acknowledging that a request could be odd, he helped the other person realize he was coming from an honest place.
  • Day 6: Can I teach your class, he literally knocked on professors doors asking is he could teach their class, and they said no until he came to one who said that no one has ever asked that before. Jia showed his powerpoints, and handouts and the teacher added him to the next curriculum and him taught a class the next semester.

Jia learned that by asking for things that you want, you have a better chance of getting what you want versus never asking at all. The thing that held him back was the fear of the rejection in the first place. This sounds very simple but thinks about how much rejection hurts and why we stay away from it.

https://www.ted.com/talks/jia_jiang_what_i_learned_from_100_days_of_rejection

Strengths b4 Weakness

Figure out what you’re good at and become better.

Working on all your skills needed to perform better or get you to the place you want to go is important. But when you take a personal inventory of your skills and abilities that got you to where you are at the moment is the first step in a realistic action plan.

To know your skill sets will let you know what you should do with your next steps. Don’t think so much about what you “can’t” do that just add way too much negative thought process. Gather a list of your skills talk to your work associates, your manager, see what they see in you. Take some tests. These Strength tests are not Pass and Fail style from grade school they are l about reactions to situations and scenarios and how you feel about things. DO NOT answer the questions to these test like your trying to impress a stranger! The more honest you the answers, the more accurate your results.

There are many significant tests out there, Myers-Briggs, Strenght Finder by Gallop, I use Foursight with teams I am working.

When you update a resume, you are supposed to highlight your strongest skill set to enable you to fit the best position for you. The same goes for life and goals. Yes, we all want to be great at something we are not, and we must be realistic at times that we are only 5’8” and not going to be a Professional basketball player.

Notice how you use your skills on the job, in your personal life, as a way to solve problems or to help others.  You need to know your skills/talents to know how to achieve your goals.

Daily aerobic exercise


Daily aerobic exercise is the key to a good life, including intervals of sprints are even better.
 In a recent German study, volunteers who did two 3 minute sprints (separated by 2 minutes of lower intensity) during a forty-minute treadmill session demonstrated higher increases in BDNF than non-sprinters. Not only that, the sprinters learned vocabulary words 20 percent faster than non-sprinting exercisers. It seems even a small amount of high-intensity exertion can have a profound effect on your brain!

Caution: Be sure to have a talk with your doctor before engaging in high-intensity sprints or before beginning any exercise program. It’s important to have aerobic conditioning in place before adding intervals of sprints — at least 6 months of six-days-a-week aerobics according to Dr. Ratey. And even then, check first with your own doctor.


Exercise

Exercise leads to the release of certain neurotransmitters in the brain that alleviate pain, both physical and mental. Additionally, it is one of the few ways scientists have found to generate new neurons. Much of the research done in this area has focused on running, but all types of aerobic exercise provide benefits. Although the exact nature of these benefits is still being determined, enough research has been done to provide even skeptics with a motivation to take up exercise.

 

Exercise exerts its effects on the brain through several mechanisms, including neurogenesis, mood enhancement, and endorphin release. This paper not only examines how these mechanisms improve cognitive functioning and elevate mood states but also proposes potential directions for future research. Furthermore, it provides an explanation for exercise’s generally non-habit forming nature, despite effects on the reward centers of the brain that mimic those of highly addictive drugs like morphine.

One of the most exciting changes that exercise causes is neurogenesis or the creation of new neurons. The new neurons are created in the hippocampus, the center of learning and memory in the brain. However, the exact mechanism behind this neurogenesis is still being explored. At a cellular level, it is possible that the mild stress generated by exercise stimulates an influx of calcium, which activates transcription factors in existing hippocampus neurons. The transcription factors initiate the expression of the BDNF (Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor) gene, creating BDNF proteins that act to promote neurogenesis.


BDNF stands for “brain-derived neurotrophic factor.” It’s a protein actually, dubbed a master molecule and referred to as “Miracle-Gro for the brain” by Harvard psychiatrist, John J. Ratey, MD, author of Spark, The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain. According to Ratey, BDNF is “a crucial biological link between thought, emotions, and movement.”
BDNF binds to receptors in the synapses between neurons, increasing voltage (yes your brain is electric!), and improving signal strength. Inside the cells, it activates genes that increase production of more BDNF and other important proteins, as well as serotonin, the neurotransmitter vital for learning and self-esteem. Low levels of BDNF have been associated with depression and even suicide.
Basically, BDNF improves the function of neurons, encourages new neurons to grow and protects them from stress and cell death. Sprinkled on neurons in a petri dish, BDNF is observed to cause brain cells to sprout the structural branches required for learning — sort of like fertilizer for the brain.
So Now that you have the “Miracle-Gro,” you need to know how to use it.

After (Not during!)  your physical Exercise you can learn and think faster your literally “Primed for learning and performing” The window is 90 Minutes according to some studies. So, if possible plan on getting that cardio in before that important meeting or that test that will be mentally exhausting. Leaders that are fit and healthy lead by example and are respected more, live longer and healthier lives, better moods and overall happier.

137 Minutes a day for a better life


If you can invest just 137 minutes a day, you have the ability to change your path in life.

Based off all those books in the “Self-help” section of the bookstore, here is the all you need to know about setting and achieving goals without all the nonsense.
Socrates is famous for saying “Know Thyself, ” and that is the most important part of goals. You need to know who you are to know what you need. So, let’s start off with figuring out what your goals are first. Once you set your goals, you need to figure out what healthy habits you can implement into your day that will help you achieve these goals. Don’t go nuts you want to ease into this make three healthy habits you can live with and get used to. You will get to the point where these habits become just that a habit a no brainer and you can then add new habits.
(Note: Most habits form with 30 days on average) Supplemental Video: 3 Questions
Let’s look at the Pyramid from the top down.
So, we set our goals and habits, and we made a note of these (best to use your phone’s notepad or even the screen of your phone) It’s fun to make a Meme out of them or even find a meme on the internet that best fits your goal or habit.

2 x 1 minute; Set an alarm (On vibrate) at 11:11 AM and PM to remind me to look at my list or be present in the moment and compare this moment to what it can be once I achieve my goals. This 11:11 will also become a fun habit, and you won’t need to set the alarm. That’s it!

3 X 5minutes; Plan, Check-in, and Review, When you wake up plan your day. If you don’t have a map, you don’t know where you’re going. It’s always good to have an action plan and when you wake up is the best time to say to yourself “What will I do today to reach my goals?”  A mid-day check in to see how you’re going with your plan and to adjust accordingly, and finally and before bed congratulate you on what you did that day. DO NOT end your day with negative thoughts. It’s like giving yourself a good bedtime story to ease you into a full night’s sleep, and sleep is very important. So, let’s not toss and turn with negative thoughts all night.

30 minutes x 2 you need to take care of your Body and your Mind, lucky for you there is a correlation between 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise and both learning and outlook. Per the book “Spark” when you perform cardiovascular exercise shortly before a difficult mental task your mind is primed for learning and problem-solving. Cardio can work for you if you want to be at your best for a meeting or during the most difficult part of your work day. A brisk walk can even help. 30 minutes is the magic number for cardio to release the endorphin’s and the BDNF which is touted as “Miracle Grow for the brain.”
Becoming and staying positive is a big part of a healthy long life. Optimistic people have been shown to live longer and healthier lives than people with negative outlooks. Part of this is that an optimistic person tends to be more outgoing and social which promotes a larger social circle and keeps them engaged with society. You can find some uplifting memes, podcasts, music and even a funny friend can do it for you. And if you are clever and want to cut your 137 minutes to 107 minutes of self-improvement time you can multitask. Consider listening to a podcast or watching inspirational videos while getting your cardio in.

1 An hour a day; of learning, something new. Leaders are Learners a great way to look at becoming a lifelong learner. You don’t have to read for an hour you can work on a puzzle or learn something at work that will help you achieve your goals. You just need to use your time in a way to get you closer to your goal. Part of your goal are healthy habits so think about your habits as part of the learning process. If you are trying to lose weight, for example, use the hour of learning to find better ways to eat or exercise. Learn things that will make you a better person.
You CAN NOT use this time during your cardio workout. Your brain is not able to learn as well during the actual workout because the blood supply if being used to feed your muscles and lungs. The BDNF is only after the workout. So, create a reading list or find some videos that you can learn from or manuals for your companies accreditation’s. Take an online class.

I hope this information helps you on your journey to the best you that you can be.

 

The Pyramid for setting and achieving goals.

If you can invest just 137 minutes a day, you have the ability to change your path in life.

Based off all those books in the “Self-help” section of the bookstore, here is the all you need to know about setting and achieving goals without all the nonsense.
Socrates is famous for saying “Know Thyself, ” and that is the most important part of goals. You need to know who you are to know what you need. So, let’s start off with figuring out what your goals are first. Once you set your goals, you need to figure out what healthy habits you can implement into your day that will help you achieve these goals. Don’t go nuts you want to ease into this make three healthy habits you can live with and get used to. You will get to the point where these habits become just that a habit a no brainer and you can then add new habits.
(Note: Most habits form with 30 days on average)

Let’s look at the Pyramid from the top down.
So, we set our goals and habits, and we made a note of these (best to use your phone’s notepad or even the screen of your phone) It’s fun to make a Meme out of them or even find a meme on the internet that best fits your goal or habit.

2 x 1 minute; Set an alarm (On vibrate) at 11:11 AM and PM to remind me to look at my list or be present in the moment and compare this moment to what it can be once I achieve my goals. This 11:11 will also become a fun habit, and you won’t need to set the alarm. That’s it!

The flowchart above shows 11:11 as a base example of how you can teach yourself to form habits. This teaches you how easy habit forming can be as well as the positive reinforcement of proving you can form a habit when you start looking at the phone at 11:11 unprompted. Once you get the habit of looking at your phone twice a day you can then use this habit to your advantage in building your next healthy habits.

Once you are habitually looking at your phone’s lock screen at 11:11 you can introduce reminders or positive reinforcements of new goals or habits that you’re working on. This will act as a mental check in on what goals or habits your working on.


3 X 5minutes
; Plan, Check-in, and Review, When you wake up plan your day. If you don’t have a map, you don’t know where you’re going. It’s always good to have an action plan and when you wake up is the best time to say to yourself “What will I do today to reach my goals?”  A mid-day check in to see how you’re going with your plan and to adjust accordingly, and finally and before bed congratulate you on what you did that day. DO NOT end your day with negative thoughts. It’s like giving yourself a good bedtime story to ease you into a full night’s sleep, and sleep is very important. So, let’s not toss and turn with negative thoughts all night.

30 minutes x 2 you need to take care of your Body and your Mind, lucky for you there is a correlation between 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise and both learning and outlook. Per the book “Spark” when you perform cardiovascular exercise shortly before a difficult mental task your mind is primed for learning and problem-solving. Cardio can work for you if you want to be at your best for a meeting or during the most difficult part of your work day. A brisk walk can even help. 30 minutes is the magic number for cardio to release the endorphins and the BDNF which is touted as “Miracle Grow for the brain.”
Becoming and staying positive is a big part of a healthy long life. Optimistic people have been shown to live longer and healthier lives than people with negative outlooks. Part of this is that an optimistic person tends to be more outgoing and social which promotes a larger social circle and keeps them engaged with society. You can find some uplifting memes, podcasts, music and even a funny friend can do it for you. And if you are clever and want to cut your 137 minutes to 107 minutes of self-improvement time you can multitask. Consider listening to a podcast or watching inspirational videos while getting your cardio in.

1 An hour a day; of learning, something new. Leaders are Learners a great way to look at becoming a lifelong learner. You don’t have to read for an hour you can work on a puzzle or learn something at work that will help you achieve your goals. You just need to use your time in a way to get you closer to your goal. Part of your goal are healthy habits so think about your habits as part of the learning process. If you are trying to lose weight, for example, use the hour of learning to find better ways to eat or exercise. Learn things that will make you a better person.
You CAN NOT use this time during your cardio workout. Your brain is not able to learn as well during the actual workout because the blood supply if being used to feed your muscles and lungs. The BDNF is only after the workout. So, create a reading list or find some videos that you can learn from or manuals for your companies accreditations. Take an online class.

I hope this information helps you on your journey to the best you that you can be.