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Next is the answer to Rejection

Rejection is not all bad. I found in the last few years working with people that rejection is what holds many people back from achieving what they set out to. So, what a couple people said no that really should not stop you. The key to getting rejected is to learn why then move on to the next person. My favorite thing to say to myself when I hear NO is NEXT. I move on and find better opportunities for me. The opportunity that you thought was so perfect for you before you were rejected was all in your head. You never know what a situation is until you are in it. So, when you are told no; remind yourself that it probably was not the best fit for you and that you need to find the right fit. When I am talking about rejection, I am talking about Jobs, Schools, People, any situation where someone else has the power to say no. Remember you always have the power to move on and say NEXT!

I want to say that I understand how much rejection stings and hurts and deflates your ego. I also want to point out that like everything, the more you do it or hear it or feel it, the easier it is, the less it hurts, the less the sting of defeat and the more its motivation to move forward.

Here is an embarrassing but true story about me. I grew up with a learning disability called Dyslexia. I was placed in special classes that at the time did not know what to do with me, so I basically had no real education. I did learn how to maneuver in the world and did well for myself but always had spelling issues come up. No matter how hard I tried there would always be something wrong, and with the English language with so many words that sound the same but spelled differently, it can cause “Issues” for a dyslexic, with that said. I am always taking classes to learn more about the things that interest me. I decided to go to Drexel university and wrote my Entrance essay and sent transcripts and all. I was REJECTED! I did not give up I asked why and what I can do, and they said that to begin with I spelled College with an “a” …“Collage”! Spell check did not pick this up, and I looked foolish, But then I asked if I can go Nonmatriculated (Spelled correctly) and they said yes and I have a 4.0 at this moment. I say at this moment because I am in the middle of a spelling intensive writing class and it’s giving me a run for my money…
Moral of the story you hear no, ask why then change course to either fix it or move on to the next opportunity that will take you forward in the direction of your goals.

 

There was a great Ted Talk I want to point out for a great inspiration. Jia Jiang turned something we are all afraid of “Rejection” into what energizes him.

Jia decided to do 100 rejections and videotape his rejections to learn from them:

  • Ask a stranger to borrow $100. Response No! while watching the video he saw how scared he was and remembered the 6-year-old him.
  • Buerger Refill at a fast food restaurant. Response No! but then learned to add to the requests to let the other person know his interests.
  • Olympic Doughnuts (donuts made in the formation of the Olympic rings) Response Surprisingly yes, the person was interested and made it, the video went Viral. This put him on the map, and he was getting support from all over the country for this idea.
  • Can I plant this flower in your back yard? Response No! but then Jia asked why not, and the person said they have a dog that would dig it up, and it would be a waste of your flowers, but Janet across the street loves flowers you should ask her. So now by asking shy he is getting a referral and the reasoning for the rejection and he was not the one who was rejected it was the waste of a flower.
  • Starbucks greeter: Response No! But then he said why because it’s a “weird” request, and the manager said yes, but then realized that because he was realistic about the request and knew it was odd that he could do it for an hour and just to not be too weird. He learned that acknowledging that a request could be odd, he helped the other person realize he was coming from an honest place.
  • Day 6: Can I teach your class, he literally knocked on professors doors asking is he could teach their class, and they said no until he came to one who said that no one has ever asked that before. Jia showed his powerpoints, and handouts and the teacher added him to the next curriculum and him taught a class the next semester.

Jia learned that by asking for things that you want, you have a better chance of getting what you want versus never asking at all. The thing that held him back was the fear of the rejection in the first place. This sounds very simple but thinks about how much rejection hurts and why we stay away from it.

https://www.ted.com/talks/jia_jiang_what_i_learned_from_100_days_of_rejection

Strengths b4 Weakness

Figure out what you’re good at and become better.

Working on all your skills needed to perform better or get you to the place you want to go is important. But when you take a personal inventory of your skills and abilities that got you to where you are at the moment is the first step in a realistic action plan.

To know your skill sets will let you know what you should do with your next steps. Don’t think so much about what you “can’t” do that just add way too much negative thought process. Gather a list of your skills talk to your work associates, your manager, see what they see in you. Take some tests. These Strength tests are not Pass and Fail style from grade school they are l about reactions to situations and scenarios and how you feel about things. DO NOT answer the questions to these test like your trying to impress a stranger! The more honest you the answers, the more accurate your results.

There are many significant tests out there, Myers-Briggs, Strenght Finder by Gallop, I use Foursight with teams I am working.

When you update a resume, you are supposed to highlight your strongest skill set to enable you to fit the best position for you. The same goes for life and goals. Yes, we all want to be great at something we are not, and we must be realistic at times that we are only 5’8” and not going to be a Professional basketball player.

Notice how you use your skills on the job, in your personal life, as a way to solve problems or to help others.  You need to know your skills/talents to know how to achieve your goals.

Gary Cohn a Dyslexic

by Jess Carpenter

gary-cohn-6A teacher once told Gary Cohn’s parents that if they were lucky, he might grow up to be a truck driver.

“I was a horrible student,” Cohn, the president and COO of Goldman Sachs, told a room full of teachers.

On Thursday night, Cohn was honored at Teach For America’s Annual New York City Benefit Dinner held at the Waldorf-Astoria.

“I know from my experiences in life that educators had an enormous impact and influence on me,” he said. “And fortunately or unfortunately, I had a lot of experience with different educators.”

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/gary-cohn-honored-by-teach-for-america-2015-4#ixzz3Y9CupQZz

Dyslexia and Business Acumen

by Jess Carpenter

The data is hard to believe:

It has long been known that dyslexics are drawn to running their own businesses, where they can get around their weaknesses in reading and writing and play on their strengths. But a new study of entrepreneurs in the United States suggests that dyslexia is much more common among small-business owners than even the experts had thought.The report, compiled by Julie Logan, a professor of entrepreneurship at the Cass Business School in London, found that more than a third of the entrepreneurs she had surveyed — 35 percent — identified themselves as dyslexic. The study also concluded that dyslexics were more likely than nondyslexics to delegate authority, to excel in oral communication and problem solving and were twice as likely to own two or more businesses.

Keep in mind that only 10 percent of Americans are believed to have dyslexia, so the percentage of business owners with dyslexia is a very significant aberration. The explanation seems to be that children with dyslexia develop compensatory mechanisms that allow them to excel in business. They turn a potential disability into a new set of cognitive skills.

One reason that dyslexics are drawn to entrepreneurship, Professor Logan said, is that strategies they have used since childhood to offset their weaknesses in written communication and organizational ability — identifying trustworthy people and handing over major responsibilities to them — can be applied to businesses.”The willingness to delegate authority gives them a significant advantage over nondyslexic entrepreneurs, who tend to view their business as their baby and like to be in total control,” she said.

 

The larger moral of studies like this is that we should never underestimate the importance of neurodiversity. At first glance, dyslexia might seem like an unequivocal disability, a brain disorder that we’d be better off without. But nothing in the mind is that simple, is it?

Mackenzie Thorpe: English artist

by Jess Carpenter

Born: 1956

As a child, Mackenzie Thorpe had a problem learning to read and write. Some people thought he would never be able to communicate effectively with others.

Art is not about the object itself, any piece of art is a vehicle to bring you an experience, to provoke a thought, an emotion, or a new perspective. The art is the experience you have with the piece. Thorpe has used art to communicate in ways that words never could.  His website notes Mackenzie’s perspective on life is clear. He doesn’t hide the fact that often life is a struggle, a dark tunnel which can seem endless. However, he passionately believes that our frail dreams are worth nurturing and that love and honesty will triumph over adversity.

He uses his art to inspire others. My ambition is to unite the world through the eyes of these children and let today’s cultures understand that in order to sustain our societies, we must protect and nurture our children, and also protect and nurture the child within us all. It is our responsibility to love these children, to let them bring love back to the world, and to keep our eyes open to the wonderment of childhood.

Allison Merriweather, American artist

by Jess Carpenter

Little Allison was so excited. After years of struggling in school she finally had an assignment she thought she could do well. Unfortunately, the school system turned her excitement into despair. The one time I could have been singled out as having talent I ended up being unfairly punished. I was in third grade and we had an assignment to illustrate a story. I was interested in the project and took it home to complete . I drew on all these pieces of paper and stuck it together. But, when I brought it to school, the teacher didn’t believe that I had done it and the other kids didn’t either. They thought that my older brother or my mother had done it for me. As punishment, I had to sit outside the classroom on a chair.

Fortunately, Merriweather has found that she does have a talent for art, and can succeed. Today she owns her own art gallery. Her work can be seen on the covers of numerous magazines across the country. And her commissioned paintings are in high demand.

Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov: composer

by Jess Carpenter

Born: March 18, 1844
Died: June 21, 1908

As a student in school, Nikolai Rimsky struggled to learn. But as student of music, he excelled.

A pupil like myself had to submit to Balakirev a proposed composition in its embryo, say, even the first four or eight bars. Balakirev would immediately make corrections, indicating how to recast such an embryo; he would criticize it, would praise and extol the first two bars, but would censure the next two, ridicule
them, and try hard to make the author disgusted with them. Vivacity of composition and fertility were not at all in favor, frequent recasting was demanded, and the composition was extended over a long space of time under the cold control of self-criticism.

As a teacher, Rimsky was able to reach out to his pupils in that same way others had helped him. His famous student, Igor Stravinsky, remembered: I worked with him in this way. He would give me some pages of the piano score of a new opera he had just finished (Pan Voyevoda), which I was to orchestrate. When I had orchestrated a section, he would show me his own instrumentation of the same passage. I had to compare them, and then he would ask me to explain why he had done it differently. Whenever I was unable to do so, it was he who explained.